I went to co-op today. I am not enjoying it as much as I used to. The assembly line set up is less conducive to conversation and socialization. It is more efficient, which is good for the people who run it, but less fun for the people who do it. I can’t remember exactly how it all panned out, which was basket and which was extras, but this is what I brought home:

2 heads of cauliflower
1 bunch of broccoli
1 onion
9 navel oranges
5 braeburn apples
4 bunches of spinach
1 bunch of organic kale
18 bananas
8 kiwifruit
1 pineapple
1 head of hydroponic lettuce
2 cucumbers
5 tomatoes
18 red potatoes
1 bunch of asparagus

I know that I had cabbage, parsley, and at least 4 more onions that I traded away for some of that spinach and a few of those oranges. I didn’t go in to work last week, but did get a basket. I can’t remember at all what was in it except a half pint of blueberries, which I ate all in one sitting.

I have had class twice. I go for the third one tomorrow. My genocide assignment is Pol Pot of Cambodia. I am in a group with 6 people that I don’t know. Plus, all I know about Pol Pot, I learned from an Eddie Izzard comedy skit. I have my first test this weekend! She said it is online, 5 essay questions, will be available from late Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. SO, I have plenty of time to type up decent answers and edit them and all that before I turn it in.

Hopefully, I can post again soon. My life is fairly uneventful, so I can’t always think of things to talk about. I want to take a few pictures and post them and talk about the crocheting a bit. I will try to do that amidst doing my exam this weekend.

My middle son has now seen the therapist twice. She seems to think he just needs some behavior modification stuff. She is going to see him one more time and then see me and give me her feedback and suggestions. She is also going to talk to his school.

My teenager finished his first week of college! He came home over the weekend and spent one night with us. He isn’t having any problems yet. Thank goodness!

I had my first week of class as well. Since mine is only one day, although 3 hours long, there wasn’t a lot to be concerned about, the teacher is a great lecturer and very entertaining too. My grade will be 80% from 4 exams and 20% from a group presentation on genocide. She will assign our groups and our genocide, so I am worried about that. Are all genocides good to present on? Are some better than others? I know that some are better known than others.. Plus, the group grade is given to each member. I hate doing group stuff. And I hate relying on other people for my grade. And I hate doing presentations! I am full of negativity about this assignment. I will get more information on it this Friday I believe.

I went to co-op last week on Thursday, but I don’t feel like bothering with that right now. I got some food. Nothing special, just produce. Some weeks I feel more excitement about it than others. I am going again tomorrow, Thursday again. I didn’t go on Tuesday this week. There is anew assembly line way of sorting baskets and it takes fewer people and less time. I am not going to be needed twice a week at all. I may not even be needed once every week. If I only go every other week to sort, I am only going to get a basket those weeks too.

I am making sure I do laundry and dishes every day. I am trying to make sure I cook dinner every day. Household chores are boring. I haven’t been seeing my sister lately. I went to a couple of movies with my husband. Contraband and The Iron Lady. I was interested in seeing both, but not really in a mood for the theater. I wish we had waited and seen them on dvd or something. I am over the theater, I saw 26 movies in the theater last year. I want a break from it!

We are flat broke too. But hubby never agrees to not spend the money he wants to spend. So we saw movies instead of waiting and now I have to scrimp and freak out about paying our car tax.

I don’t know. I just feel like I am underneath everything. I want to be on top. Our finances are always tight after Christmas. Things will be better in March or April. They always are.

Oh! I am crocheting though. I am not doing anything fancy. just a basic sort of single or double stitch.  I have made 4 scarves and a hat. A beret type hat, not a beanie type. And a neck warmer. And I am working on a round baby blanket now. If anyone is actually interested, I can try to post pics. But, they are all pretty basic.  I do find the work calming and a little mindless. I can focus for a while on just making the stitches even and not tangling my yarn. It seems like a good way to pass the time. I do it a lot while watching stuff on tv with my husband. He has a lot more tv interests than me. Plus, lately, we watch a lot off movies on tv. I am not all that interested in some of them. And, I have a hard time with movies on tv. They usually do not occupy all of my attention. I need something else to do anyway. I have always surfed the net or read stories on my laptop while watching. This crocheting is a more productive use of that time, maybe.

My Christmas stuff is still all in the house and not in the basement. I need to do something about that, but I am not motivated to bother. I need to vacuum. I need to mop. I need to clean the showers. I need to exercise. Speaking of which, I was down another pound at weight watchers last week. Hopefully, I can be down another this week.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

He was in another altercation at school. His fourth. It was actually on the bus, but before the bus left the parking lot. So, it counts as a bus infraction and his punishment is one day of bus suspension.

His first fight: in the cafeteria, he got his tray of food and went to his classes assigned table, he sat down beside some boy. That boy started saying “Oh Hell No” and pushed my son to try to force him from his seat. My son threw his milk carton at the boy. Both boys received one day of In School Suspension.

His second fight: in the hallway, some boy semi-regularly body-checks my kid. They are near one another while walking, the 1st boy chooses to be sneaky. He body-checks a second boy, causing the second boy to be the one who plows into my son and bounces him off the lockers. My son reacts by shoving the second boy into the lockers. The first boy and my son are both given one day of In School Suspension, the second boy is not punished.

His third fight: also in the hallway, but sort of beginning in the library. The is a bit of competition to be the one to get his book checked out first. As I understand it, there was no physical contact in the library, but my son did lose the competition. Lined up in the hall to go back to class, the quicker boy is directly in front off my son. I guess, in the library, my son whined the faster boy’s name when he got to the check-out counter first. So in the hall, the quicker-checker-outter mimics my son whining his name. He is pretending to be my son, whining his own name and then adding “I am so stupid”. My son’s instinct, apparently, is to shove the boy to the floor and kick him. Both boys were given In School Suspension, one day for the fast boy, two days for my son.

His fourth! fight: a girl on the bus, who also lives in our neighborhood, and gets off at our bus stop, and is a well documented annoyance, said something mocking and mean to my boy. He smacked her for it. They are both on Bus Suspension for one day.

I get that he feels like he is being picked on or that someone is being mean to him. I do. But he can not respond with physical violence! He seems to not grasp this. His visit with the therapist yesterday was totally non-eventful. I guess not a lot can happen in the first visit. But, I need him to stop this shit RIGHT NOW. He and his sister have always physical fought with one another. I have known all along that it was wrong. But, I haven’t been able to stop them doing it. I guess he feels that what he does with her can carry over and be done at school too. It just can’t. He can’t keep hitting her or anyone. He has got to learn to ignore what other people say and keep all of his body parts to himself. It’s making me NUTS!

He is also very defiant. When I tell him to do anything, his first response at least 80% of the time, is NO. Just a flat-out NO. Then he has to be told again and again. Then he tries to bargain. “I’ll take a shower AFTER we see the therapist”. And, I know better, I really do, but in the interest of not being late for the appointment, I gave in to that. But, when we got home from the therapist, he refused to shower! I had to yell at him. I had to threaten him. I had to take away electronic privileges. And then, finally, I pulled down his pants and smacked his bare ass with my bare hand. I had to turn on the shower. I had to remove his clothes from his body. I had to smack him on his ass a couple more times. And then he finally showered. While he cried and hated and yelled.

Why would a child refuse simple instructions for simple daily or weekly or whatever things that everyone in the whole world does? Why would he push and push and refuse and yell until I had exhausted every option I could think of and felt that spanking him was all I had left? I very, very seldom spank my children. They do not fight with each other and hit each other because it is a modelled behavior in their home. It causes me a nearly unmanageable amount of stress to have to use corporal punishment. I was a basket case the rest of the evening. He was completely fine and over it by the time he got out of the shower.

God. I could use some advice here.

I talked to a therapist on Friday about my middle son. Last year, after having such a horrible time at public school, we moved him to the local private school. Things were SO MUCH better there! As a lovely “fuck you” they went out of business over the summer. So this year, my troubled one is back in the public system and at the middle school. Middle school is hard for everyone. I know this. But, he is small. He is defensive. He is aggressive. He is immature. These things are adding up to a terrible year. He has been in three fights so far. I had to tell this stranger, this woman who will sit in judgement over us, how I have failed to teach my son how to behave like a boy almost 12 years old. I told her how he growls and how he refuses to obey. How he still bites his sister once in a while. I had to talk about the screaming and the tantrums and the bed-wetting. It was awful. Today, at 5:15, he has his own appointment to talk to her. I told him I was taking him to a counsellor whom he could talk to about his anger and school troubles. He said he didn’t need a person to talk to because he talks to Baby Great White. His favorite stuffed animal. See how young he still is??!!!

On Friday, I went to the local yarn store to hang out with my sister. There was some kind of knitting circle party thing going on from 6pm to midnight. We got there a bit after 8. I learned to crochet a bit. I mean, I knew how to make a chain. *eyeroll* My Granny tried to teach me to crochet when I was young and way too busy reading to bother with a handcraft. My sister’s friend showed me how to turn back on your chain and make it a second row that is attached. So, I bought a skein of yarn and crocheted myself a scarf over the weekend. The yarn is beautiful. The scarf, only a mother could love. But it was fun, so I started another one. My sister gave me a skein of yarn that she had that is an atrocious color, maybe a burnt orange or something. I crocheted a chain and then connected the start of it back to the part where I was adding loops and made a circle. Now I am using the same technique from the other scarf, adding a row on top of a chain, and I am making a round scarf. The circular kind that is a bit like a sleeve for your neck. My daughter had me buy her a skein of bright red yarn. I forgot to mention I took her with me to the store party thingy, didn’t I?  Anyway, she wants me to make her a scarf , too. Just a regular long narrow strip. I learned from doing mine, that you should COUNT your stitches! no one bothered to tell me. My scarf is several different widths. I will count for my daughter and hers will be an even width all along.

I don’t feel like doing anything at all. I just want to nap. I haven’t been writing down all of my foods properly for my weight watcher thing. I haven’t bothered to exercise at all this week. I’ll do better. But I am not doing better yet. I don’t think I have co-op tomorrow, so I need to really make myself get some exercise in. There just isn’t any way around it. If I want to lose the weight, I have to get off my ass and move.

I’m making a bbq flavored pork roast for dinner. We’ll probably have potatoes and broccoli with it. I might also make some spinach. The kids won’t eat it, but hubby and I love it. Some salad would be nice too. Lettuce, carrot, cucumber, and maybe some bacon bits and cheese for those of us not trying to slim down.

Oh! i did sign up for one college class this semester. A while back, I signed up to take History of the World Since 1945. But I had to drop it due to family illness. So, I am taking it again. It is a Friday only class from 11am to 1:45pm. A long class, but only one day. I go to weight watchers on Friday at 8am already, so I am never falling back asleep on Fridays.

Mondays and Wednesdays are still subject to spontaneous napping. I actually napped today. After the kids were off on the buses, I laid down beside hubby and slept until after he finally left for work. I do NOT want to be sleeping during the day. But, last night we watched movies until way too late. I am going to have to refuse to play after midnight from now on. I live in a world where folks have to be doing their stuff during the day time, so I need to be awake for that time. I can’t get much real-world stuff accomplished between midnight and 3am, so there is no reason for me to be awake then.

I haven’t finished Spartacus. That book is dull. I think the story itself will be interesting, but the wordage is not very involving and so far, the story is AFTER the whole Spartacus deal and I want it to get to the flashback portion already. I’ll keep you posted about it.

In my basket:
1 head of cabbage
1 bunch of broccoli
1 bunch of bananas
6 sweet potatoes
4 pears
4 reddish apples
4 oranges
1 lb. carrots
1 pint strawberries
1 head hydroponic lettuce, green, curly, loose-leafed
1 avocado
3 tomatoes

In my extras bag:
2 grapefruit
2 bunches bananas
4 reddish apples
1 bag organic yellowish apples (maybe 10 apples?)
1 head romaine lettuce
2 pears
1 lb carrots
1 lb cranberries
2 tomatoes
4 sweet potatoes

Since I worked twice this week, I also got a $10 credit for the little market they have set up there now. After baskets are picked-up or delivered, the warehouse is open for several hours for people to stop by and purchase produce that is extra from the baskets or special stuff they bought that wasn’t enough to divide into baskets or stuff that local growers have brought in to earn themselves a little money. Anyway, I bought:

1 bag of grapes
1 container of cherries
1 pint blueberries

I can’t remember the amount of the cherries and I am too lazy to go look before finishing this entry. The cherries and grapes were $3 each, the blueberries were $2.50 per half-pint. So, I had a $10 credit and $11 worth of stuff. And no cash. My carpool friend fronted me a dollar of her $10 credit. I felt silly.

I didn’t manage to do any exercise the rest of the week. I had my 3 days (Fri, Sat, Sun) on the gazelle, and then my 2 days at co-op. I am so lazy and such a procrastinator. Sometimes, I am surprised I get anything done at all. Sometimes, I don’t get anything done at all! I did have weight watchers this morning. I have lost a little over a pound since last week. I am flat on at 10 pounds lost. Just a drop in the bucket. So far still to go!

It is already 4pm and I haven’t started that Spartacus book yet. Plus, none of you are interested in reading it. I’ll most likely thrash it out this weekend. I am open to suggestions for the next book if anyone wants to read along. I feel foolish doing a book challenge alone. I mean, on the challenge site, there are about 50 other people doing it. But, I don’t know any of them.

I need to post this weekend about my middle child. My small son who had a lot of public school problems in 4th grade and is currently having those problems renewed. I met with a counsellor today who is going to start some talk therapy with him next week. I am too stressed from that appointment to actually talk about it right now. Deciding there is something not quite right with my child and acknowledging that I can not make it better and then seeking help for him, those are all big scary steps.

AND I signed up for a class this semester. Geez. I am so behind on blogging. I will blog again tomorrow to try to make-up the lag without overwhelming you all in one post.

1 head of hydroponic lettuce, it is green, curly, and loose-leafed
4 yellow apples
1 bunch of bananas
4 onions
1 clutch of flat-leafed parsley
2 lbs of carrots
8 sweet potatoes
1 avocado
1 head of cabbage

We’re using a new sorting system that is more assembly line like. Sorting is taking less time and using less energy. It still counts as a bit of a work-out, but not nearly as much as it used to. I have downgraded it from moderate exercise to low.

I’ll be going again on Thursday and getting a ton more food

I decided to pre-announce the first historical fiction I am going to read. I don’t think I will get around to starting it until Friday. I am also probably going to try to read 2 per month. I am going to start with Spartacus by Howard Fast. This novel was initially published in 1951. It is the source material for the famous Kirk Douglas movie of the same name. And I suppose, indirectly, the source for the HBO series. I have the first season of that series on DVD and haven’t watched it yet. As a tie-in, I am going to watch the series right after reading the book. If I can dig up a copy of the Kirk Douglas movie, I’ll watch that too.

I haven’t ever written a real review for a book before. If anyone has suggestions for how that works, let me know. And, if anyone would like to read with me, you have a few days to get a copy of the book. I own this one, but I imagine it is available in public libraries.

Hmm. What else? Oh! My legs are pretty sore from the mileage earlier this week. I did not do any exercise at all yesterday because of that. Today, I went to co-op. I am going to TRY to do the Abs and Arms of Steel video tonight. It is only a 15 minute work-out, so I should be able to handle it without difficulty. I really plan to walk the 2.5 or more miles on the gazelle tomorrow. I need to know what some good pre-walk leg stretches are. I think my muscles hurt because they aren’t warming up enough for 5+mph. I will have to research that…

Please let me know if want to try to read Spartacus along with me. I will most likely post a review of it late next week.

• everyone can participate, even those who don’t have a blog (you can add your book title and thoughts in the comment section if you wish)

• add the link(s) of your review(s) including your name and book title to the Mister Linky we’ll be adding to our monthly post (please, do not add your blog link, but the correct address that will guide us directly to your review)

• any kind of historical fiction is accepted (HF fantasy, HF young adult,…)

• During these following 12 months you can choose one of the different reading levels:

1. Severe Bookaholism: 20 books
2. Undoubtedly Obsessed: 15 books
3. Struggling the Addiction: 10 books
4. Daring & Curious: 5 books
5. Out of My Comfort Zone: 2 books

I can’t get their logo to post in my blog. I am so not a code monkey. This is a link to the site about the challenge:

http://historicaltapestry.blogspot.com/2011/12/historical-fiction-challenge-2012.html

If anyone wants to join up, I think that would be fun. Plus, you can talk about it on my blog in the comments if you want! We could have a little bookclub thing on the internet!

I am working hard on the walking thing. I walked another 2.7 miles in 30 minutes on Saturday, and 2.8 in 30 today. So, I already have my 3 times minimum a week for this week! But, I am going to try to do it every day. 2.5 in 30 is a 5 mile an hour rate. I am hoping to one day make it to 3 miles in 30 and reach a 6 mile an hour speed. If I am a good girl, I will eventually add in some muscle building tapes. I still have the Abs and Arms, Buns, and Legs of Steel tapes. I remember having a pretty decent time doing the Abs and Arms one.

My kids go back to school on Tuesday. My husband goes back to work the same day. I will finally have the house to myself again! I love my family, but they are noisy and underfoot. I am ready for some peace and quiet. Since I am trying to be in a better frame of mind, it will probably be a good time to clean out a few rooms and chuck a bunch of stuff out for the charity truck. I think I got a notice in the mail a few days ago that they will be doing a pick-up in my area on the 11th. Clearing out stuff we don’t use makes me feel good. The fact that a lot of it is perfectly good stuff and a charity will take it, makes me feel better.

My teenager has asked if I will take him to the doctor and get him restarted on ADHD medication. He was on meds from summer before 3rd grade until part way through his 8th grade year. He took himself off of them then. He said he didn’t think he functioned better with them than he did without. I couldn’t really force him to take the pills, so I just stopped filling the prescription. He has said that he wants to start off college at his best and that taking the meds again might be helpful. So, I scheduled him to see the doc on the 4th. That same night, he will be moving in at my mother-in-laws. He will go to campus on the 5th to buy books and then his first class is the morning of the 9th.  I think asking to try the meds again shows a bit of personal responsibility that he has always been lacking in the past. I hope it works out well for him.

My youngest sister, who is 29, moved to Hawaii a few days ago. She is the one who usually lives with my father. She is the daughter of my father and my aunt, who is my step-mother. She is the one who got married a little over a year ago to a guy in the Navy. The Navy has sent them to Hawaii. It seems so drastic. But, rumor has it, Hawaii is super fantastic. She doesn’t know anyone. Her husband will be under the sea for 3 to 6 months at the time, off and on, for the whole 3 years they are there. As I understand, she is going to be living in Honolulu. If anyone knows of anything awesome for a very bookish girl to do, mostly on her on, in Honolulu, let me know! I’ll be happy to pass it along. She majored in photography in college. Maybe being somewhere that looks really exotic will get her rolling in a photography career.

Honestly, I got nothing going on right now. Hubby is a bit obsessed with researching New Zealand. I am a little overwhelmed by the prospect of going so far away. It is absolute eons on an airplane. Plus, besides Lord of the Rings stuff, I am not sure what is there to see. Hubby says geysers, glaciers, and fjords. If anyone knows of stuff to put on the Do Not Miss List, please let me know that too!! 

I saw my mother the day after Christmas. I had been stressing about her, as usual. But I had managed to keep the stress more on the low side than usual. While she was here, I completely avoided topics which set me off in any way. And near the time for her to leave, she finally managed to broach the subject of my sister and her family. I just told my mother flat-out that I had decided not to talk about that. She kept talking about it a little bit, but I simply said again that I was not going to talk about and she stopped after a few minutes. I have come out of this visit with less anxiety than I have come out of any kind of interaction with her in the last 5 years or so. When she left, I put the whole thing out of my mind and moved on with my life.

I am not too depressed. I am not too stressed. I am not too freaked out or upset about anything. I have been trying to just deal with my own life and my own home and keep cool about everything.

Over the summer, a lot of stuff was bad. A lot of that was stuff with my nephew. Then, school started for my kids and my teenager QUIT SCHOOL!!! I was scheduled to start classes two weeks later, but I did not do so. I stayed out of school all of fall semester. I spent a lot of time helping my sister and her family. I spent a lot of time coaxing my teenager through an SAT retest and a GED test. He did very well on both. He has been accepted at a local state college. He is starting classes on January 9.

The registration for spring semester came and went the same week my son took the GED. I missed it. There is a late registration coming up on the 4th or 5th of January. I am a little apprehensive about trying to go back after more than 6 months off. But, I think I am going to go ahead and sign up for just one class this spring; something in the History department. My first response to going to classes is always a panicked one. I am trying to be calm about this. If I only take one class, then there is nothing to worry about. I’ll let you all know what I decide on.

I have seen another lot of movies this week. On dvd, I watched Velvet Goldmine and I LOVED it. I also watched In Time and Valhalla Rising. I went to the theater to see Shame. It was so awesome. It was very emotionally resonant. I was a more than a little surprised by how realistic it was. I also saw the new Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. It, too, was excellent. It was full of all sorts of my favorite actors. Gary Oldman, John Hurt, Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, and some others. It was super. I have loved seeing so many movies lately. My husband has made a big effort to take me to movies this fall. Since our teenager is leaving home, we will have a harder time getting out for dates so. So, I have been to 26 movies at the theater during 2011.

Oh, I may not have talked about my son leaving. My mother-in-law told him, over the summer, that he would probably be happier if he quit high school and tried to get into college sooner. And, honestly, he seems like he is going to be happier. But, encouraging my child to drop out of school was a BIG no-no in my book. As soon as school started this year, which was his final year of school anyway, he dropped it. Then we discovered that very few colleges in Georgia will accept a student who has dropped out and gotten a GED. Only junior colleges and state colleges. None of the University level schools accept a GED. There was not a college of the type needed close by us. My son does not drive, so he couldn’t travel far to get to school. I was not about to rearrange my whole life to drive him to college when he had quit school against my better judgement. My mother-in-law works at a state college. She lives about 15 miles north of us and the school she works for is 55 miles from her house. So, he enrolled at her place of employment and is going to live with her for the whole first semester and ride to school with her everyday. Maybe after doing that, he will be willing to drive. In the fall, he most likely going to live on campus.

Ugh. I hate thinking about the whole thing. He will be moving in with her late next week. I feel like a should be excited about pushing my first chick out of the nest. But, I worry about his possible failure. I am not at all sure I have adequately prepared him for the real world. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed.

I’ll post again on the other side of the new year. Hope you all have a good one!

These are combination gifts for this Christmas, my husband’s birthday next month, next Christmas and my husband’s birthday January 2013. The whole trip is meant to be for his 40th birthday. Which is the January 2013 one.

We’ve only thought about it for about 5 minutes so far, but I think we are thinking March 2013.

NEW ZEALAND!!!