I’ve been reading some “Mommy Blogs” lately, watching the videos at Momversation, trying to find some common ground. Instead, I found out I am not like the other girls. All the other Mommies have friends. Girl friends. Not just people they read about online. I mean people that they actually know in real life. Plus, people online that they communicate with. Like in a back-and-forth on-going topic-laden way. I do not have this sort of thing in my life.
Every single time I do anything, it is with my husband and kids or with my mother or sister or alone. I never have a “girl’s night out”. When I get some away time, it is almost always alone. The kids make me crazy some days. When my husband gets in from work, I throw on my shoes and go sit at Starbucks, alone, with my laptop or a novel. I just hang out there by myself and talk to no one. Having a break while he puts the kids to bed.
Is it normal to have a group of girlfriends? Or even just a couple of girls you always turn to? I don’t remember ever having that. We moved so much when I was growing up, I just never made any long term friends. I never learned to maintain a long term relationship of any kind. My marriage is by far the longest non-family relationship I have ever had and it is a struggle sometimes.
I do know a few women. Women who are the wives of my husbands friends from college. My husband has friends from college. People he still talks to and sees fairly regularly, even though the relationship started back in 1992 or something. I do not know a single person that I knew in 1992 except family. Not one. The only people I know from long ago are the friends of my husband that I met back in 1995. I know their wives, too. I don’t think I have too much in common with them though. I mean, some of us really like to read. Some of us really like a couple of the same TV shows. But, we don’t have that “friend” connection. We don’t seek each other out to talk to, ever.
We do have different parenting techniques, too. For some people, that is a huge huge deal. I could care less about how anyone else parents their kid. But not everyone feels that way. Some people disapprove of the way I parent. Does that keep us from being able to bond as true girlfriends? Is it just me?
I have always been more comfortable being friends with guys. Not that I have any guy friends now. But girls haven’t ever liked me very much. I am not “girly”. I hardly ever wear make-up, I don’t shop, I don’t know anything at all about fashion. I am not sexy or beautiful, but I still feel like women, in general, judge me on looks and stuff. I think guys have been more accepting of me. I don’t know. Maybe it is just me.
I want a Girls Night Out group!