I have such stupid insomnia!
Tomorrow (today) is the first day of school for the kids. Punkingirl is in 2nd grade, LittlestBoy is in 4th and my Sullen Teen is in 10th.
I am awake and fretting a little. I am always nervous about the first day of school. I guess the kids aren’t nearly as bad off as I am. They seem to feel pretty confidant about going to the same school every year and seeing the same teachers and the same kids over and over again. I can imagine that is comfortable. Since I didn’t ever really have that experience, I get to freak out for them. They are too innocent and non-neurotic to know that their first day at school is a big scary to-do. Gah. Lucky them.
We had a tiny birthday party for the teenager on Saturday. He will actually have his birthday on Wednesday. His real party is a Laser Tag thing on the 9th. The get together on the 1st was just a few people, close family/friends type of thing. It went well. I think we all had a good time. there was a lot of laughing and talking and joking. I am pretty sure it didn’t matter too much that my house was a complete cluttered disaster zone. It always is. I am possibly the worst housekeeper ever. We do not live in filth, mind you, just severe disorganization. Things seemed pretty relaxed though, so I hope no one was too offended by me not vacuuming or dusting or putting away a bunch of stuff piled on the dresser behind the sofa.
My sister came and brought her son. He is almost 13. Half way between my two boys. I think I hadn’t actually seen my sister since the whole fiasco with going to LA for my father to not die (thankful about that, really I am). We had a good time together. On Sunday, she came over again and we all went to a birthday party for a friend of hers little girl. The girl was only turning 3, and our kids are way older, but she doesn’t have many friends, so we went anyway. It was at the lake and it kept raining. *eyeroll* I hate when we have uncooperative weather. It was along drive over there and then another long drive back. I was awake way too late last night and didn’t have nearly enough sleep to have a good time at the party. Then I was cranky and extra tired by the time I got back home.
I feel extra whiney the last couple days. I am hoping it because the kids are going back to school and I am just feeling weird with the anxiety. My class for summer is over and my fall classes won’t start until the 17th. I am really wanting to relax and sleep in and maybe even clean house some in the next 2 weeks. I hope the whineyness isn’t the start of some irritating depression cycle. I do not need another one of those right now. I have way too much on my plate coming up in the next month or so to have time or energy to deal with battling my way out of a wet sack of depression.
I am trying my hand at writing again. A while back, I had a plot thought and tried to flesh it out. I am not pretending that I am any kind of actual novelist or anything. But, I did have this story kicking around and I tried getting it written down. It is actually a difficult process. I guess I am not any kind of real writer or it would be easier. What I managed to do was write out some scenes that I kept going over in my head. I ended up with several scenes and it comes to about 12K words. I am having trouble figuring our what happens between those scenes though. I guess the real trick to writing is to figure out what happens around the action. In order for it to really be a book, or a long bit of prose, or whatever, you have to know how to fill in the blanks. I asked a couple of my lj friends who write all the time to take a look at it. One of them is doing so right now. She plans to have it looked over and thought about within 2 weeks. The other one wants me to wait until that session is done and then send her the next draft, as it were. I asked for suggestions, critiques and proofreading. I am hoping it goes well. I am very nervous about having anyone read it. A couple of people I know in real life have read it, but only 2 people besides my husband. I had asked a third person to read it over, but she never had the time. Neither of the first 2 people gave me any kind of feedback at all. My husband read it and said he liked it. But, you know, he doesn’t read too much and he didn’t have a lot of anything to say about it. He mentioned a couple of errors he noted and pointed out a place or two where he thought the thing didn’t flow right. That is pretty much all I have to go on so far. So, yeah. Maybe my 2 lj friends can give me some good feedback and whatever and it can help me kick my muse in the ass and figure out what to write next in it.
I haven’t written a real “past” post in while. I guess my head hasn’t been comfortable in the past lately. The childhood stuff is mostly about what happened to me. The stuff that I am up to in my life with the past now is what I did. Mistakes I made. Choices I had a hand in. Things I regret. I might feel a little too close to them to write them yet. I don’t know. It is different though. Very different than the childhood posts. Meh. I’ll get around to them, sooner rather than later I hope.
night night folks