I have had a rough week this past week. I can’t explain it though. Nothing was really wrong, but nothing was really right either. I have felt tired and whiny. I have felt down and blue. My sister had a baby. She has the blues as a result. I should not be having the blues. I did not give birth. But I feel a bit like I did when I had given birth. I just want to nap some more and maybe read a book and not have to really think at all.
This is Monday morning. I took a Latin test on Wednesday last week and I still haven’t gotten a grade for it. That worries me and stresses me out. I know it was a holiday weekend and she was probably busy with family and not grading tests. But, why give a test right before the holiday? She could have waited until this week to do it so she wouldn’t leave me hanging like this. Latin has been harder this semester and I do not like being left for days and days to freak out about the test results.
I forgot all about recording our meals this past week. Plus, I was too lethargic and whiny to cook as much as I should have. I think I ate dinner out 3 days, maybe even 4, this past week. I know I baked a chicken and we ate that for two dinners. I know I made fresh Bolognese sauce and served it over linguine. That’s all I can recall. *shrug* I will try to keep track of this week. I don’t want to fall off the wagon and stop making the effort, I just failed to do it this past week.
I bombed my healthy goals this past week too. Out of 70 points, I am supposed to ba aiming for 60 per week. I only made 49. I can’t explain that either. I ate two whole tubes of Pringle’s this week. I ate pizza. I ate McDonald’s. I didn’t eat nearly as much fresh fruits and vegetables as usual. I didn’t drink my water. I didn’t do exercise a single frakking time. I didn’t cook at home like I should have. I don’t know. I just didn’t do anything that I have on my goals list. Today is the start of a new week. I am going to try to get back into a groove with this. I am not planning to stop making the effort. I just have to wrap my mind around it again and, I don’t know, just make myself be more functional.
This morning, I had a Science test. This was the third one. I made a C on the first and a D on the second. This test was much more Biology based. I felt like I actually knew the material. I did study, but I studied before too. This time, when I was reading the questions, I felt like I might really know the answer. I am not holding out for an A or anything spectacular, but I feel pretty confidant right now that I may have made a B on this one. If I can make a B on the next one as well, I should be able to get a B in the class. If not, then I am looking at a second C to drag my GPA down into the basement.
The kids are on spring break this week. I am not. Nana is watching them today while I am at school. I think I have to take one of them with me to the co-op tomorrow. Hubby is working from home on Wednesday while I am on campus. I hate that our breaks do not coincide. It seems like very poor planning on the part of the education system. Since I am so busy the first half of the week, I won’t get to go to my sister’s until Thursday. But I do plan to get over there and snuggle her baby and take her to get a manicure.
I took the kids and visited my sister on Friday after they got home from school. The baby is lovely and tiny and sweet. She is so frakking adorable! My sister is bonding with her well and the nursing relationship is working. It is so hard when you first have a baby. You don’t sleep enough. Your hormones are high and then low. You have that adrenaline rush from delivery and then you have a big old crash. And you have a wee tiny person you have to keep happy.It takes a few weeks to get into a rhythm. It takes a few weeks for your hormones to even out and stop cycling you up and down. You need someone to sit with you and talk. You need someone to hold the baby and let you nap. Or hold the baby and let you shower. You can put the baby in a cradle or carrier or whatever and take a nap or a shower, but if you do it that way, then you worry. You know the baby is sleeping and safe and content, but your instincts tell you that no one is snuggling the baby. The baby may be cold or afraid or may wake up and have no one to get it quick enough. The mother instinct stuff is intense. As happy as you are with the new baby, the stress levels are just through the roof! So, I need to go and visit more and help my sister be sane.
Gah, this is long and yet says very little! I will try to get back into a posting mood and I will try to be cheerful. Thanks for waiting around for this entry!