I am on my period and cranky.
I am having a bad tummy issue and whiny.
I haven’t taken my anti-depressant in days and am nigh unbearable.
This morning, I was at my sister’s and my husband called to ask about dinner plans. We had a thawed out pork shoulder piece that needed putting in the crockpot. Put it in, add a cup of apple cider vinegar and some bbq seasoning from the spice shelf. Seriously. Those were the entire instructions. But he asked over and over again to clarify those simplistic directions. He stressed me out about it. I ended the call more than once and he kept calling back for more detailed versions of the same incredibly easy information. It made me insane; made me doubt his ability to think at all.
Eventually, I came home. We have a sofa in the media room and the kids have torn the fabric a lot and pulled bits of the fiber foam filling out. It is a disaster and I have been looking to replace it for a while. I finally got a newish loveseat to go in there and we already have a couple of arm chairs that will supplement the seating. So, I thought today would be a good day to move the broken piece out and the newer piece in. The little kids are at my mother-in-laws, my teen is home, my teenage nephew is here and my husband is here. There is nothing pressing going on today and we had a few hours before dinner or anything.
I tried to ask the teenager to move some stuff around in the garage so the broken sofa would fit in there until we can dispose of it properly. One of the things in the garage is a broken sofa that has been awaiting disposal for about 4 years now. There are also boxes of stuff that I use but not often enough to find a “place” for and too often to relegate to the dim cobwebby basement. As I was trying to instruct the teenager in what I wanted him to do in the garage, the phone rang. It was hubby’s father and hubby talked to him in the same room where I was instructing the teenager. So the teenager wandered off and didn’t get the full directions because our conversation was interrupted. When hubby got off the phone, the teenager was nowhere to be seen. I knew he wouldn’t be starting what I was telling him to do though. He is lazy. So, I clarified what I wanted and modified it a bit and told it all to my husband instead. I thought he would make sure the teenager understood.
That didn’t happen. He went off and did something else and didn’t send the teenager back to me to complete the chore description. Nor did he complete the description to the teen. So, nothing got done at all. Eventually, I realized this was a non-starter and I got angry. I am, admittedly, hormonal and irritable anyway. But this kind of pissed me off a lot. Everyone knew I wanted something done. No one did anything at all. I called hubby back to me to find out why nothing was happening and he was super vague and non-explainy about it. He was checking email, and movie times in case we go to a movie later this evening. He had no idea what the teen was doing. He completely blew off what I wanted done and thought I had nothing to be bothered about.
This is the story of my home life. Stuff needs doing. No one will do anything. Even if I explain in great detail what needs doing, nothing will happen unless I pitch a complete bitch fit about it and piss off everyone involved. And then, a LOT of times, whatever I want done is only done partly, or wrongly. And then, I end up having to go back and redo it or finish it myself. I tried to get my husband to understand that I knew nothing was happening. I tried to get him to realize that if he didn’t take some initiative in this, then I would have to be ugly about it to get it done. I tried to get him to see that if I was ugly about it, everyone would be really unhappy. He insisted that I be a bitch. I mean, he practically told me that the only way anything was going to get done was if I went ahead and ruined the whole day with a semi-psychotic meltdown of yelling and cussing and ranting. At one point, I said that I had changed my mind. I didn’t want him or the teenager to actually do it. I would just wait and do it myself another day. Preferably a day when he was at work. He called me on it and said I was lying and that I really did want them to do it even though I had gotten pissed off and pissed him off too. But I wasn’t lying. I really would have rather dropped the whole thing and dealt with it on my own at a later time. He demanded to know why. Why would I rather just do it myself later? Why not let him and the teenager handle it now, now that he was angry and ranty about it? I asked if he really wanted me to vocalize an answer to that. He said he really did. So I told him.
I would rather do it myself because I find you unreliable. I gave specific instructions about how I wanted it done. But I know how you do things. You blow off half of what I say and then only half-ass pay attention to the half you do bother to do. Once you have finished doing what I asked, I am going to have to go back and redo half of it and finish a bunch of other crap that you didn’t bother with at all. This is not an uncommon occurence. I have to do shit myself in order to know that it is going to get done. Or get done properly.
Well, that answer did not go over well at all. So, now he and the teenager are in the garage. Who knows how this will all end up. We are all pissed off too. So, the rest of the day is shot and the general plan to go to a movie later is also shot. We may go to a movie, but it will be tense and angry and awkward. So fun. And all I really want is to take a nap right now and deal with shit tomorrow while he is at work.